So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
