I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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