Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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