I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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