my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
is that a dick in a sweater?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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