My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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