I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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