would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
