i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
