Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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