spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
