so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
