someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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