Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
