Can Purell be used as lube?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
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