Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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