Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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