I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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