you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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