You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
