I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
