I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
