6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
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For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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