and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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