dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
