i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I intend to get homeless drunk
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
