I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
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I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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