the condom got lost in my hair
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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