I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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