dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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