no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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