what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
