just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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