so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
