My pussy is not your playground.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
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You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
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I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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