I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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