butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
