He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
