I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How naked do you want me to be?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
