I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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