you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
