with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
