ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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