Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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