So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
