Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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