Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
NoShamevember. You game?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
