Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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