I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
