Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
