Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
