I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
