if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
