he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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