i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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