i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
