Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
