I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
