I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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