I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
