Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
