Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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